Common Policy for Pastoral Marriage Preparation

INTRODUCTION #

This Common Policy for Pastoral Marriage Preparation is intended to assist the Church as a caring community in her ministry to engaged couples. With this policy the Church says to each couple, “We, the community to which you belong, care about you and your future success in marriage: We want to help you in the growth of your relationship to each other and to God. Our goal is to help you prepare not just for your wedding day but for your married life together.”
This policy is a sign of the Church’s concern for the future of marriage and the family. Current divorce statistics are but one indication that many couples fail to realize their hopes for a stable and happy marriage in our world today.
Also this policy establishes a support system for the parish priest and those working with him in the important ministry of marriage preparation. It establishes definite Archdiocesan norms and guidelines. These will help eliminate the confusion that can result from a wide disparity of preparation among parishes. The policy will enable us to be more pastorally effective in this ministry.
This policy can be implemented most effectively in parishes where trained married couples work in close cooperation with the parish priest to prepare engaged couples for marriage. Whenever the term priest or parish priest is used, it is to be applied also to deacons.
This policy is not intended to make it difficult for couples to marry in the Catholic Church. Rather it recognizes the seriousness of marriage and the responsibility of a caring Church to help couples prepare adequately for a life together.

Required Preparatory Period of Six Months #

Couples are encouraged to contact their parish priest and begin formal marriage preparation as soon as they make a decision to marry. As a minimum requirement couples must contact the parish priest and begin their preparation at least 6 months before the proposed wedding date.
This is not intended as a “waiting period” but rather one of preparation. Therefore the process of such preparation should begin at the first meeting with the parish priest. Concern with the immediate preparation for the wedding itself can make it difficult for the couple to benefit fully from the preparation itself. Thus it is highly desirable for the couple to complete all the steps of preparation at least two months before the wedding date.

The purpose of this requirement is to insure adequate time for a couple to participate in and benefit from the steps of the marriage preparation process. In the event that the preparation reveals problems or obstacles to the marriage, this requirement affords a couple more time to resolve their difficulties through such steps as counseling, canonical procedures, etc.
In certain cases circumstances can arise that make the six-month requirement very difficult to observe. Exceptions to this time requirement should be made only for grave pastoral reasons and the couple should still be obliged to take part in all the steps of the marriage preparation process. The inability or unwillingness of the couple to understand the need for an adequate preparation for marriage does not constitute a grave reason.

The Parish Priest. #

In accord with canon law, the Archdiocesan Policy asks that the parish of either the bride or groom, if both are Catholics, be the proper place for a wedding. (If one party is non-Catholic, then the proper place would be the parish of the Catholic party). Exceptions should be granted only for serious pastoral reasons.
The parish where the wedding takes place will be responsible for taking care of the marriage preparation process which includes:
1.Preliminary sessions with the priest/deacon/or marriage minister;
2.Assessment of their readiness for marriage and their levels of faith;
3.Participation in the parish marriage preparation program or Engaged Encounter;
4.Completion of the necessary documents. If a parish other than that of the bride or groom makes their church available for the wedding, they thereby accept responsibility for the entire marriage preparation.
The Cathedral of St. Mary’s is considered an exception to this policy.
The parish priest who will witness the marriage has the responsibility to make a twofold assessment of:
The couple’s readiness for marriage, The level of faith of the Catholic parties.

A tentative date for the wedding should not be set until the priest has had the opportunity to make this assessment by meeting personally with the couples. Please refer to: Faithful to Each Other Forever Published 1989 by USCC – Msgr. Joseph Champlin. Pub.# 252-7 Tel. #1-800-235-8722.

Preparation Process. #

he couple’s proximate preparation for marriage will include four complementary components:
1.At least one initial session with the parish priest.
2.Premarriage inventory, eg., Foccus or PMI. (cf. Appendix 0)
3.Participation in one of the available Marriage Preparation Programs.
Follow-up sessions with the parish priest.

4.Initial Session(s) with the priest provides the opportunity to: #

Explain the Policy as an effort by a caring Church to help the couple prepare adequately for marriage. Dispel the notion of these requirements as “more red tape” before they can be married in the Church.
Discuss with the couple the importance of their own assessment of their strengths and weaknesses as they affect their relationship.
Use of a premarital inventory can be very helpful in getting to areas that need discussion. It should be administered in this session and the results discussed with the couple at another session before the couple participate in a marriage preparation program. (cf. Appendix D for information concerning the Premarital Inventory
Fill out the premarital forms. This is an occasion to discuss the couple’s attitude to marriage and also their present relationship to God, Jesus Christ and the Catholic Church. (The above steps will assist the priest in determining whether there are any serious obstacles to the wedding of a couple in the Catholic Church).
If a canonical impediment e.g. a previous marriage, is present, the parish priest should begin his investigation of the matter at the first meeting with the couple. If the case is sent to the Marriage Tribunal, he should inform the Tribunal of the proposed date for the wedding, so that they can expedite the case as quickly as possible.
Explain the marriage preparation programs. Help them choose the program they desire among the options. They should normally participate in this program before their next meeting with the priest.
Arrange a tentative date for the wedding, providing the assessment has not
revealed any special obstacles and the couple has agreed to participate in one of the Marriage Preparation Programs. Explain that this date can be definitely confirmed only after they participate in a Marriage Preparation Program.